Don't let the turkeys get you down

My father was fond of saying, "Don't let the turkeys get you down." He'd usually quickly add, "Gobble! Gobble!" and a big smile.  Shortly before Father's Day one year, I found a button (it was the '80s)  with an illustration by Sandra Boynton. A somewhat clumsy-looking elephant was pinned down by a rafter of clueless turkeys.

 As a kid, I had a vague idea of what Dad meant. I thought of it as "don't get sad about things idiots do  or say to you." As a parent, I've hoped to instill a sense of resilience in my children. Life has many upsets and learning to roll with it--to adapt--is a valuable skill. It just seems that, at times, the turkeys are just a little too close to home.

Dozens of congratulations popped up on my wall when I posted my acceptance to Facebook last week. It felt great. It reminded me of the many people who have been cheering me along the way over the past few years as I headed back to school and prepped to apply. One person made a comment reminding me not to forget my kids while I was in medical school. Nice. I just shrugged it off. I've been a mom long before getting into medical school, and I'll be a mom long after finishing medical school. That turkey didn't get me down.

But then Christmas happened. Or, rather, dinner at my in-laws happened.

On the way to their house, my 14-year-old daughter asked, "Mom, are you going to tell Grandma that you've been accepted to medical school."

"I don't know if I'll bring it up," I answered. "When I told Grandma and Grandpa a few months ago that I was applying, they just kind of stared at me." I thought for a moment. "Yes. Definitely. If they ask, I'll tell them."

"What if they don't ask?"

"Well, I guess that means they don't care. Maybe?" and I just shrugged my shoulders.

I've been struggling this week with the idea of going to school out-of-state. Moving means losing so many familiar things, especially for my kids.  My father's parents were gone before I was born and my mother's parents lived on the other side of the country. With both of my parents gone, it has been important to me to make time for my kids to see their grandparents who live just an hour away.

Not too surprisingly, my in-laws did not ask me how the application process was going. Back in October, I explained to them that I already took the classes and the "big exam." My applications were turned in and I was waiting for invitations to interview at places that might be interested in me. Hopefully, medical school would be part of my near future. "What are you going to do with that?" my father-in-law had asked.

So when it came time to get our coats back on and head out the door after the visit, I had a very odd feeling. I didn't want to keep a secret from them, especially if it meant we would be moving, but I also didn't want them to burst my bubble. Then my husband spoke. "Guess what? Vieve just got the best Christmas present imaginable, and it wasn't from me."

My mother-in-law's face lit up. She leaned in, "What was it?"

"She just got accepted to medical school," and he put his arm around me.

Suddenly, I felt swept away with excitement. "Yeah. I had three interviews last month, and I was really afraid I wouldn't hear back from any schools before Christmas, but Med School in Another State let me know on Friday that I was accepted and I'll even get a scholarship, and I'm just so excited!"

She leaned back and looked perplexed. "Are you going to do that online?"

Pop.

"Um," I couldn't help but smile a little, "there are no online medical schools in the country." Feeling a bit confused, wondering if they were a bit confused, I added, "I'm going to be an MD."

My father-in-law spoke up. "You know what 'MD' stands for, don't you?"

He was standing directly behind me, so I turned around to meet his smiling face. He always has a corny joke to tell, and I thought that it might help take the edge off of the disappointment I felt. I smiled broadly, "No, what?"

"Mostly Dumb. After all, they can only practice and never get it right."

I just hugged him and said, "Merry Christmas."

I hugged my mother-in-law, too, and thanked her for dinner. My sister-in-law and her husband were also standing by the doorway and had said nothing so far. She just looked at me and said, "Uh. That's exciting news."  I gave them good-bye hugs as well.

Maybe it isn't fair of me to expect them to be excited about this. Maybe they are just deeply concerned about the welfare of my children, like the aforementioned Facebooker. Maybe they're just turkeys.

It happened!

This morning a co-worker asked me if I had heard anything yet. Sigh. I told him how hard it has been waiting and that I probably wouldn't hear anything until schools are back in session in January. John is close to retiring. He gave me a big smile and told me not to worry.

But I have been worrying for months now. That's just part and parcel of applying to medical school. Everything in your life is up in the air as you wait to hear back. As you wait for that one, magical email. And so, at 11:30, I refreshed my email one last time. I had to laugh at myself for refusing to give up hope that I just had to get my most-wanted Christmas gift. It was time to give my mind a rest and so I log out.

My sons get out of school early on Friday, so I packed up some paper-work and headed off to get them. My 12-year-old let me take a few moments to feel sorry for myself. "No word until January. Some how I need to not think about it for two weeks." He just smiled and told me not to worry. This has been a journey for them as well.

Around 2:00 PM I opened up my personal email account again, looking for a reciept from a recent purchase, and there it was. Stamped as delivered at 11:35--just minutes after I told myself to let it go. My offer to enroll in medical school. Unbelieveable.

Words cannot express the deep, abiding sense of gratitude I have. This whole process has just been amazing. Yes, I needed to have the attitude to keep with it and not let myself get derailed over the past few years, but there is no way I could have done this without the love and support of my children, my husband, and my friends. So many things have come together just-so in order to get me here. How blessed I am.

Self-doubt costs $170

Two weeks ago, I was feeling great about having five interviews scheduled (three MD and two DO).

But...that was two weeks ago.

Each week of silence during interview season is painful. No, not feverishly-sick-in-bed painful. More like did-I-really-do-everything-I-could self-doubt painful. You know, the feeling that despite evaluating MSAR data for over 80 different schools, I didn't consider every school that I should have. Conventional med-school applicant wisdom says that you need to apply to at least 10 "go-for-it" schools in addition to a couple of "reach" and a sprinkling of "safety" schools. The problem is, where do out-of-state schools fit in? Most of them hold residents to a different standard than out-of-staters, but exactly what that standard is, is not always clear. If the average MCAT for a school is 31 and 80% of students are in-state, what's a reasonable score to consider that school a "safety"?

I truly believe that there are schools that might still invite me to interview in January or February. The problem is, there are a lot of schools that haven't said anything. At times I think "no news is good news" and at other times I think that no news simply means that the window of opportunity is closing. (Did I mention that I got my first rejection? Mayo said "no" to me on Halloween. It's a little relieving not wondering where I stand.)

Faced with the discomfort of waiting, I decided to do what I could do. I finished another secondary to a school that I wasn't all that interested in. I will finish another secondary this weekend. I signed on to AMCAS today and selected five more schools with a primary deadline in December, paid $170, and hit "submit." I suppose that many people in my position would spout off that it is too late and why bother, but then again, bothering means that I'm doing something while I'm waiting. Somehow I feel like I'm keeping myself in play.

First Interview

I recently attended my first med school interview. There were a dozen other applicants with me that day. Some how, I felt like I was behind on my make-believe timeline with my first interview happening in mid-November. As it turns out, only two other people in our group have had a previous interview, and one of those was earlier that same week.

I must admit, I was surprised with how happy the med students were. We were divided into groups of three for tours given by first-year students. It was casual and informative. Our tour guide stated, repeatedly, that he had "lots of free time" and he felt like it was pretty easy to balance studying with the rest of his life. Lunch was in the cafeteria with a group of second-year students. One of the students seemed like she had a chip on her shoulder. But, hey, sometimes I have a chip on my shoulder, too. Even so, she still was very positive about the school and the level of student support that was offered. Going on campus and talking with students tells you so much more about a school than any website.

Here is my interview schedule thus far:
November: one western school, two Texas schools
January: one midwestern, one Appalachian (WVU's finally came via good ol' USPS)

Med School Application Process

My daughter's a senior in high school. She's already decided on the school she wants to attend. She applied online, paid $30, sent her transcript in, and designated the school on her ACT. This process was moderately stressful for her. Her acceptance envelope came in the mail the next week.

Lots of people tend to think that applying to medical school is just like applying to undergraduate school. When they say to me, "Where are you applying?" I don't think that they are really expecting me to list off all 21 schools that have received a primary and secondary application from me. In July, a few people asked if I was applying for this fall. No, med school isn't quite as "open-enrollment" as the local community college. Here is a brief run-down of the application process.

The MCAT is the greatest obstacle you must overcome on your way to medical school. The colleges classes requisite to taking the MCAT include biology, general chemistry, organic chemistry, and physics. Having taken a physiology course was very helpful for me. Starting in 2015, the MCAT will also include biochemistry as well as social science (psychology) questions. After taking these courses, you need to buckle-down and work through some good study guides. Doing well in these classes is no guarantee that you will do well on the MCAT. It takes devoted study time to review the concepts and work on timing. One of my biggest challenges was working on my "testing stamina." The exam is five hours long. Prep-time for the exam should be around three to four months. Ideally, the MCAT should be taken before May of your application year (the calendar year before you wish to start).

There are three main application systems for medical school. One is for the allopathic (MD-granting) medical schools in the US, another is for the osteopathic (DO-granting) medical schools, and the third is for the eight Texas schools (7 MD, 1 DO). Texas used to be its own country, so it isn't such a surprise that it has its own med school application process. You can create your log-in to these sites in May. You will use these sites as electronic receptacles for a slew of data.

May is a great time to begin requesting letters of recommendation. If you do not have a letter-writing committee at your school, you will need to collect a minimum of three letters from professors. Two of these professors must be from science departments and the third should be from your major if you did not major in science. I had a letter from my physiology professor as well as my organic chemistry professor. For my third professor, I request a letter from my thesis chair for my master's degree (public health).  Many schools have additional, school-specific letter requirements. For instance, some may want a supervisor or someone who can attest to your professional work (if you are currently employed full-time). One school that I applied to wanted a research reference. My thesis advisor was able to address their concerns. Many DO programs request letters from physicians you have either shadowed or work with. All of these letters can be managed on-line so that your writers only need to upload their documents to a single website (or three websites at most). Your accounts with AMCAS (MD) and TMDSAS (Texas) include letter delivery. The DO site, AACOMAS, is run by Interfolio, and Interfolio collects an additional fee for each "packet" of lettes you send out to schools. Managing letters is a nuisance, but the electronic format makes it easier. One of my writers submitted to AMCAS, but not TMDSAS. That left me in the awkward situation of sending lots of reminders. If I had the letter just sent to Interfolio, I could have had only one address to send it to.

In May, you will also want to start ordering copies of your transcripts. You will need your own copy of your transcript--whether official or not--as each application system requires you to manually enter your classes, credit hours, and grades, and then assign each class to a system-specified category. Having finished a bachelor's degree a while back meant that I took quite a few "postbacc" classes. I also had my graduate school courses to enter. I wish I could say that this was the most time consuming part of the application process, but it wasn't. It was tedious and slow, but the narrative writing took me much, much, much more time.

Ah, yes. The narratives. You will write like you are enrolled in an intensive freshman composition class during this process! The most important document is your personal statement. Admission to medical school is riding on it. All three systems require a personal essay on what motivated you to apply to medical school. The essay is limited to 3,800-4,500 characters including spaces. (The character limit is different for each of the three systems.) I did about eight drafts of mine before I felt happy with it. Yes, eight. Most revisions were deciding which elements to trim out.  Additional narratives are allowed for each of the 10-15 extracurricular activities you list. These are about 300 characters each. Much of what you write in one system can be saved as a plain text document and used in another system.

With the best of intentions, it was not until early July that I had all of my electronic applications ready to submit. Letters, transcripts, and writing took a fair chunk of my not-so-free time.

After submitting your application, a few schools will automatically send "secondary" applications. Secondaries generally (but no always) entail any where from two to five additional essays. Rarely can you "recycle" an entire essay, though you may find enough overlap to do a quick revision to tailor the essay to the school's prompt. Secondaries often cost $50-$100 a piece. If you apply for financial assistance, many schools in the AMCAS system waive the secondary fee.

The "complete" application consists of your primary, your letters of evaluation, and your secondary. The admissions committee at the school will begin reviewing your file in the order in which it was complete. Most schools don't begin the review process until July or August. Interview season begins in either September or October, depending on the school.

You are only considered for an interview after your secondary application is received by a school. The complete application usually takes about a month to be reviewed. Sometimes you might hear back from a school in less than a month, but most people do not get interview that quickly. Of course, an interview is not the only possible outcome. In fact, an interview is not the probable outcome. After schools review your complete application, they may reject you or put you on hold. "Hold" is kind of like being wait-listed to interview.  Interviews are always face-to-face. The interview day includes an orientation to the program and a campus tour. Interviews are offered on a rolling basis. Some schools will schedule your interview within a couple of weeks of inviting you, and others may schedule your interview date as far as two months later. Texas schools finish interviewing in December. Most other schools continue to interview for real spots (not just the wait-list) through January or even later. It's pretty nerve-wracking waiting for interview invitations.

It's estimated that about half of interviewees get accepted. For me, that means that five is the magic number. Five interviews roughly translates into 1- (50% x 50% x 50% x 50% x 50%) = 96.875% chance of getting in somewhere. Of course, each schools acceptance rate of interviewees varies dramatically. "Acceptance" rate data is rarely released. In-state versus out-of-state status may translate into slower acceptance times for out-of-staters. Don't be surprised if you don't hear back for a month or more. You might even find yourself on the wait-list until all in-state positions are filled. Again, this varies from school to school.

Once an offer for admissions is extended, you must respond with a deposit to hold your spot. You may hold more than one spot until May 15. Both you, and the schools, must decide who they want by that date. Many people will hold more than one acceptance up to that point, and so there is quite a bit of wait-list shuffling that happens. Schools routinely admit more students than they have space for, knowing that many applicants will wait until this deadline to decide. For instance, Mayo Medical School has only 40 students per class, yet they admit about 70 students knowing that just over half will matriculate. What does this mean? It means your odds for acceptance just might be better than they appear based on out-of-state matriculants.

So far this lengthy process has taken us from May (actually before than for MCAT prep) of one year to May of the next. If you don't already have an acceptance in hand, you might just get a surprise offer in June. Yes, that really does happen. Remember, that is just two weeks after the wait-list shuffle really begins. If you haven't already, it is time to pack up and move. Most schools begin orientation to medicine in early August, though some start in July.

Highs and Lows

Only one school that I applied to relies on the Pony Express. West Virginia University School of Medicine requires applicants to fill out an online secondary form and then to submit support documents (including essays) via snail mail. I mailed my envelope Priority Mail three weeks ago. In response, the school extends invitations to interview by mail. There is no online portal to check your status and no email to confirm you are complete.

Around 1:30 PM last Saturday, I noticed a tiny brown postcard in my mail basket. It was delivered three days earlier. It was an official USPS notice informing me that a certified letter was waiting for me. The post office closes at 2:00 PM and so I hopped into my car and danced my way into the lobby. Could it be? Did WVU decide I was worthy of an interview?

The line was moving dreadfully slow. After 10 minutes of waiting, the clerk brought me my envelope. My small, flat, not from WVU envelope. It was just a notice from my tenant telling me he was moving out. Talk about let down! I already knew he was moving out because he already sent notice via email. And really, didn't he know sending a certified letter to a neurotic pre-med is just a cruel, cruel joke? Granted my hopes were only raised for a total of 25 minutes. But it was 25 minutes of delicious day-dreaming. Followed by nothing.

I suppose that, for now, no news is good news. As painful as limbo is, there is still the hope of ending up on heaven.

Settling In

A while back I said you know you're crazy when you check your email six times a day. Here's a revision...Crazy is checking it six times an hour.

And that's where I've been. Once my MCAT scores were released on October 2, I had an optimistic sense of anticipation. I reviewed the "complete" emails I got from school and read a few posts on forums. My thinking brain knew I wouldn't hear from any schools for about 30 days. The invitations I got to interview just 16 days after my scores were release threw me. I'm operating with my emotional brain now. As more time passed, I found myself checking for an invitation with greater frequency. To the point of absurdity. To the point of despair.

Two days ago, I got another invitation to interview. Yesterday, my fourth invitation came. Now that I've hit that 30-day mark, I feel so much more comfortable with where I am in the application process. It is a long and challenging process, but I know that it will work out fine. Some how I got it stuck in my brain that if I interview at five schools, I should get at least one offer. Really, that's not based on anything but the idea that it is the law of averages at play. Of course, five interviews really isn't enough to let the law of averages work in my favor. Each school has its own acceptance rate for out-of-staters, and it really isn't a 50/50 odds ratio.

Now that I have four of my mythical five interviews scheduled, I feel a bit more sane. I'm back to checking my email only six times a day instead of six times an hour.

Expectations Are Hard to Manage

I was expecting my mailbox to be busting with good news last week. After all, the previous week I had gotten my first and second invitations to interview on two consecutive days. Certainly that was a harbinger of things to come.

Except that it wasn't. Instead, it was a dreary week with my anticipatory joy going, going, gone, until opening email felt like a sure-fire way to take a plunge into the sea of disappointment. Yep. I've become a victim of the insanity I so smugly watched my friend go through last fall.

Visiting Marian University

Marian University is reviewing its first group of applicants for the College of Osteopathic Medicine's inaugural class. A few weeks, I headed to Indianapolis on a business trip, and the friendly folks at Marian COM agreed to meet with me face to face.

Marian is on the edge of a part of town that, um, needs a little lovin'. Too many boarded up houses for me to keep count. Needless to say, there is ample opportunity for students to participate in community out-reach.

The campus is small, and the under-construction health science center promises to be a solid cornerstone, sitting prominently at a busy intersection. With 200 enrollees at the medical school, Marian University's total enrollment will go up by about 10%. I hope the school will be able to withstand the inevitable growing pains.

I'm a bit trepidatious about attending a new medical school, but Marian looks very promising. They have pulled together a faculty experienced in start-ups and I love the energy of new ventures. Their collaboration with well-established health systems is solid and reassuring. There are too many osteopathic hospitals in the US (could not find a reliable number), and Marian University has the good fortune of partnering with a well-established osteopathic facility. Kinda cool.

I submitted a primary app to MU-COM, but haven't yet decided if I'm going to submit a secondary. I'm narrowing down my DO secondaries to the cities I truly want to live in. I don't know if Indy is for me. I like what I've seen and heard from MU-COM, but moving, at this stage in life, means considering employment opportunities for my husband and college options for my kids.

You know you are going crazy when...

you check your email 6 times a day for an interview invite.

Kicking off Interview Season

I got my first interview invitation on Friday. I was elated! I'll be interviewing for a seat in a DO program. Though I submitted primary applications to a total of 8 osteopathic schools, I only did secondaries for 3. It's good to hear back from one of those just two weeks after my second MCAT scores were released.

After doing my happy-dance and calling my husband ("Guess what?!"), I decided that maybe I should check my "spam" box again. I've been pretty good about going through it once a day. Lo and behold! There was another interview invitation that had been sent on Thursday afternoon! This one is for an MD program in Texas. Texas schools are manadated to have no more than 10% of their students from out-of-state. I'm just so excited. This school only interviews about 1/10 of out-of-staters, so I'm feeling pretty good about making it past "first-cuts."

Now, I just need to figure out how to schedule these interviews (and travel) with my work, my kids, and my genetics class.

MCAT (take 2) Scores Released!

Verbal Reasoning went down by one point to 11--big whoop, still sizzlin'.

Physical Sciences went up by one point to 8--that's good enough for me.

Biological Science--bam!--jumped up FOUR points to an 11.

Sweet, sweet, sweet satisfaction. 26o to 30p.

Mini-Me

Mini-Me is 17 and a senior in high school. Needless to say, she resembles her mother. Though she is convinced that I have no idea what she is going through, I'd say that we are both in the same boat. Or at least, we rented our canoes from the same place.

Mini is feeling a bit overwhelmed at the prospect of applying to college. It doesn't help that I keep telling her she needs to get her applications in right away. How nice it must be to decide if you want to apply to three places or stretch yourself and apply to five! (Jealously point #1.) So far, I think she has decided to exclude schools that have an essay section on their applications. (Jealousy point #2.)

She took her first ACT exam this spring. With a score of 29, Mini believed that she could have done better if she had actually gone through the prep book I bought her. Frankly, I think a 29 is a great score, but I'm always delighted to hear my kids say they want to best themselves. So, Mini registered to take the ACT a week after I was scheduled to retake the MCAT.

M's scores arrived at our house yesterday, two weeks earlier than expected. She opened the envelope with a big smile on her face, but it quickly faded. She scored a 30 on the second go-round. "That's awesome!" I said. She just glared at me.

The day of her retake, Mini came home happy. "I know that I did so much better," she told her dad and me. "I finished all of the questions, not leaving a single one blank this time. I think I'm going to get a 33." She's a smart girl, and math is her forte, but her dad and I were quick to remind her that scoring in the 94th percentile (jealousy point #3) didn't give her much room for growth. Her score of 29 meant that she'd definitely get scholarships at the state schools (JP #4). That said, her optimism was inspiring. I had taken my test a week earlier and loved the idea of having my score increase by 4 points. I, too, felt like I had done so much better on the second test.

Mothering has got to be the best way to find yourself face-to-face with your own issues. On one hand, I'm reassuring my daughter, trying to get her to be OK with her score and see it as a victory. On the other hand, my fear of not doing better on the MCAT suddenly jumped out of the closet. Really, truly, honestly, I thought I was fine with it. I thought I was in a comfortable, wait-and-see sort of place. Mini's disappointment has given me a new dread for Tuesday.

Top Entertainment Pick

A friend of mine assumes that I am a Grey's Anatomy junky. "Doesn't watching that make you scared to go to med school?" I just laughed. She was surprised that I had never seen it. To humor her, I finally pulled up the pilot on Netflix. Nope. Grey's Anatomy does not scare me. (That is, unless you are talking about the original Gray's Anatomy. That puppy is pretty daunting.)

So what's a good thing to watch if you'd really liked to get scared? I humbly recommend the NOVA documentary Doctors' Diaries. I caught the program when it originally aired on PBS in 2009, and stumbled across it this past week on Netflix. The program follows seven students enrolling in Harvard Medical School in 1987 over the course of 21 years. In an era when reality TV abounds, it is refreshing to see this candid look at these students who were simply being themselves. (No, I really don't believe the average reality TV star today has much genuine personality.)

You just can't help but feel for these people. Their reaction to being in the anatomy lab for the first time, their realization that there are no promised outcomes--these are things that network television tries to capture, but can't.

You watch them smile as they try to deal with the humbling and somewhat humiliating reality that the "brightest kids in the class" no longer have all the answers. Frankly, one of the guys sounds like a total idiot while taking a medical history. At first you might think, "Wow! Any body can get into Harvard," but it doesn't take much to realize that sleep deprivation is the primary cause of his unintelligent speech, and this guy isn't operating far from his breaking point.

The documentary also chronicles the impact high-intensity training followed by a high-intensity career has on intimate relationships. There is no pretense, just the reality that it is hard to strike a balance in life. The guise of being successful as a physician is pulled aside as you catch them reflect upon what type of success matters most in life. I'll admit it; it left me a little spooked.

Retakes, Anyone?

With my second test scores yet-to-be-revealed, I can say with confidence that I'm glad I retook the MCAT. According to AAMC, you have about a 50/50 chance of improving your MCAT score with a retake. That's right, my friends, that means you could actually do worse. Before retaking it, be honest with yourself about your ability to raise that score.

It took me almost two weeks to make peace with my first MCAT score. Could I be content with it? Were there clear challenges I could overcome? If I didn't find time to study like I wanted to for the first test, would I really find more time before the second? How likely is my score to fall instead of improve?

• I know I could be content with my scores. If I get the same scores on the retake, I'll be OK with that. It just means I'll most likely need to change the name from "MD at 43" to something that doesn't quite rhyme. ("DO at forty-fo"?)
• I was able to identify clear challenges for me to overcome. I realized that the actual test was the first time I sat through the complete exam, including the writing. None of my practice exams were the mock tests I intended them to be. It was hard finding a place to sequester myself for 5 hours, but I did it. I even packed myself a little cooler bag of snacks and kept my potty breaks to the allotted time.
• I realized that I wouldn't magically find extra study time, so I made it, and I was pretty ferocious about it, too. "Sorry, honey, I want to help you," I said to my teen-ager who wanted to practice driving, "but I feel like I already failed the MCAT once and don't want to do that again. Go ask Dad." My kids came around, and became my cheerleaders.
• My verbal score is likely to be lower the second time around. But you know what? That's only because 12 is pretty dang high and if it fell to a 10, that would still be really solid. I had to take that risk in order to bring up my biology score from a 7. (And I'm fairly certain I bottomed out on the 7. Hopefully, I could only go up from there.)

If you really have your heart set on an MD program instead of a DO program, you will definitely want to retake the MCAT if you didn't score at least an 8 in each section. Not all eights are created equal; an 8 in biological sciences will actually put you at a lower percentile than an 8 in physical sciences, and there are a few schools who will look at you with a 7 in physical sciences. But even with an 8 in each section, a total score of 24 is not competitive for the vast majority of MD programs.

As nerve-wracking as it seems, you've got to be OK with that bit of reality. If you are scoring outside of a competitive range on your practice exams and on your initial MCAT, I don't know if it is worth putting yourself through the wringer to try to bump up your score by a couple of points. Apply for the MD schools that you like, but be sure to hit the osteopathic medicine programs early. I know that there are people who don't get into an MD program and so they spend a year trying to strengthen their applications by focusing on MCAT prep. The MCAT is just one piece of the puzzle. If it is the only place where you are weak, why wait another year?

26 to Go!

In three weeks, my scores will be released from my September 1 MCAT. Right now, all of my applications are in that limbo known as "under review." Yesterday, I recieved an email alerting me to log into my account with VCU since my status had been changed. Knowing that my new scores weren't ready, I was certain that I got my first rejection. Nope...just a notification that I was cleared for a secondary application.

Secondaries are like a horde of minions, with each one tossing three or more essays at you. If it wasn't all managed electronically, I think that I would die the death of a thousand paper-cuts. Some schools actually do a cursory review of your file (whatever that means) before sending you a secondary, but most seem eager to collect the associated fee and have you craft a few more essays. (Did I mention the fee waiver? If you've got kids, you just might qualify. See my July 8, 2012 post.)

So, yeah, I've got "a few" more essays to write. Actually, I meant to say 26. I just counted them. Just for kicks, I decided to string all those prompts together in one long document, scanning for the opportunity to re-work some of material on the six secondary applications I've turned in thus far. I sorted the questions by themes. A few schools had somewhat similar prompts. For instance, three schools asked me how I will contribute to the school's diversity. Of course, all of the essays are different enough that there is no way you can simply plug in one for another. And I still have 26 essays to go. Twenty-six!

I'm curious how much time the typical applicant spends on these puppies. Arizona asked me (in 350 words or less) to answer the question, "Do you believe your MCAT scores or GPA accurately represents your potential to succeed in medical school? Why or why not?" Of course, being me, I couldn't answer this without asking what the research says and wondering if I feel like I'm some sort of outlier (hey, I'm 38--I'm an outlier). Just so you know, a broad review of the literature shows that correlation between MCAT scores and med school performance are not particularly strong. SpringerLink had an  interesting little abstract on age and gender as predictors of medical school success, but I think that bit of info simply illustrates how easily I am distracted from the task at hand (more than it illustrates that I'm totally going to kick it as an older female student).

When I read the prompt from The Commonwealth Medical College, "List the 5 most important attributes you feel a physician should possess," my heart leapt with joy for the sheer simplicity. "2000 characters" brought me down, especially when you consider that prompt two is, "Choose one attribute from the above list, and describe one personal experience that best exemplifies that attribute. 2000 characters."

Yep, they want it all. These schools want you to disclose your greatest accomplishments, biggest failures, and personal challenges. Utah even wants you to write a second personal statement that is "specific, succinct, straightforward and sincere" in  3990 characters. Essentially, think of all the poetic angst that went into the AMCAS/AACOMAS/TMDSAS essay, and do it again with a completely different story arc.

Part of me thinks this process is just about jumping through hoops. The primary medical school application is pretty thorough as it is, and it is considered good enough for some schools (e.g., Mayo doesn't ask for a secondary). But then another part of me hopes maybe, just maybe, this vetting process will help filter out some of the shallow, egotistical folks who simply see medicine as a lucrative career.

Yeah, I know. Not likely.

Plus and Minus of Being Everything but Traditional

On Student Doctor Network, there is a much-celebrated study schedule to help students prep for the MCAT. It lays out a great 3-month plan of attack. Of course, it is 3-months of studying 6-8 hours each day. Yeah, right. Maybe, just maybe, you can stick a part-time job on top of that. Or maybe you could still have time to spend on one class during the semester. Or maybe you might be able to meet the needs of a self-contained child (whatever that is supposed to mean). But, honey, there ain't no way you are doing it all.

This brings me to the question "Is being a non-trad an asset or a liability?" Just earlier today, a friend asked me to read someone's letter of intent to get into PA school. I've never met the would-be physician assistant, so I only "know" her based on her writing. She sounded so young. In fact, I'd say she sounded too young, too lacking in maturity. Youth is not a bad thing by any means (sigh, gray hairs), and age does not necessarily bring with it maturity, but there was something definitely missing. The conviction of someone saying "I really want to do this because I've been a CNA and I liked helping the old people" is a vastly different from someone who has experienced adult life. I understand what it means to enjoy work-life balance. Physicians score lower on this metric than the average adult. This means something completely different to a non-trad working wife and mother than it does to a single 22-year-old. I've got a very different vantage point to view that from. That's not to say that my vantage point is superior; it just makes me a more informed applicant. That's an asset.

So that brings me back to the 3-month wonder schedule. The author is honest in saying that it isn't for people who can't commit to studying full-time. Is that the key to success on the MCAT? Do you really need to devote three months of full-time study in order to get a competitive score? When I first started looking at applying to medical school, I was irked by all non-trad info I was finding. It seemed like common consensus is non-trads need to go DO because they don't perform as well on the MCAT and with GPA. The notion is that DO schools tend to look at the whole person and value the diversity of life experiences non-traditional students have had more than MD schools. This ruffled my feathers a bit. I'm one of those non-trads who didn't blow-off undergraduate school. My GPA (anyway you cut it: bachelors, postbacc, graduate, science, etc) is 3.88 or higher. I thought I would totally kick the MCAT.  I was wrong. For me, the MCAT as a non-trad was definitely a liability. Working full-time, helping kids with their homework, and prepping for my lab class (thank goodness I didn't take the lecture that semester) made finding MCAT study time a real challenge.

The MCAT is a 5+ hour exam. Testing fatigue was a real issue. At some point, I found myself thinking, "I don't care what the answer is, I just want this damn thing to end." In all of my prep efforts, I only did one full-length practice test mimicing the real format. Big mistake. I think, finally, I've worked through the test-fatigue issues. It is still grueling, but not as hard as it initally was.

The biggest challenge of the MCAT is the simple fact that there are dozens and dozens of topics to master, yet there are a mere 52 questions in each of the science sections. I know I have not mastered all of the topics in the study guide, and so chance comes into play. Maybe the topics on that test are my forte and maybe they aren't. In preparing for the exam, I've taken five different tests from e-MCAT. These exams are honest-to-goodness tests from AAMC. I thought that my practice tests should roughly correspond to the score I got on my real test. Nope. I score 1-2 points lower on the physical sciences and 2-3 points lower on biological sciences. (At least my verbal score was 1-2 points higher than my practice scores.) Having graduated with a degree in social sciences 16 years ago and having multiple full-time commitments makes being a non-trad a definite disadvantage for the MCAT.

I'll let you know how this Saturday shapes up.

Such a LONG road

This is one ridiculously long road to go down. (Yeah, yeah, yeah--I know that applies to all of medical education.) If you are thinking about applying next cycle, push your "submit" button as close to June 1 as possible. Maybe, just maybe, that might make the wait a little less painful?

I applied to medical schools through three systems in July: AMCAS, TMDSAS, and AACOMAS. I started AMCAS first (in May) and submitted it last (early July) as I felt so particular about what I wrote for each of my 15 extracurriculars. I hope that extra crafting helped, because it took the full six weeks ("expect 3-6 weeks") to get verified. That was nerve-wracking. The Texas system was the quickest one to verify. I got verified with them in just under three weeks. AACOMAS was three weeks and a couple of days.

As of August 21, my application is complete at 9 schools. (It helps that Houston, San Antonio, and Gavleston do not require a secondary application.) Right now I am insanely excited to finally be verified by AMCAS and feel the urge to push out three or four secondaries by the end of the week. A little reality check, though. School starts tomorrow for my kids. I'm retaking the MCAT in 10 days, and I just started a genetics class at today. Secondaries must wait until after the MCAT is put to rest.

Physician Salaries

One of the secondary applications I received asked me to list the specialities I am interested. I put down five (hmm, maybe that's too many) and gave a sentence or two to explain my choice. Salary wasn't a consideration. Out of curiosity I did a search of physician income. Forbes had a report that used 2008-2009 data. Here are 20 specialities and their pay:

1. Orthopedic  surgery	$ 481,000
2. Cardiology	$ 419,000
3. Urology	$ 401,000
4.Gastroenterology	$ 393,000
5. Radiology	$ 391,000
6. Otolaryngology	$ 370,000
7. Anesthesiology	$ 340,000
8. Oncology	$ 335,000
9. General surgery	$ 321,000
10. Dermatology	$ 297,000
11. Pulmonology	$ 293,000
12. OB/GYN	$ 266,000
13. Neurology	$ 258,000
14. Emergency medicine	$ 240,000
15. Hospitalist	$ 201,000
16. Psychiatry	$ 200,000
17. Internal medicine	$ 186,000
18. Family w/OB	$ 184,000
19. Family practice	$ 173,000
20. Pediatrics	$ 159,000

AMCAS submitted!

As of yesterday, all of my primary applications are in! I read the status update on AMCAS today. It said that as of 7/13, they were currently processing the applications marked "ready for review" on or before 6/17. Really? How much of an advantage is it to submit early if you just get stuck in a log-jam? My application is "ready for review" as all of my transcripts have been marked received. Some transcripts took 3 weeks from date of order to being entered into the system. If you are planning to apply next year, request your transcripts in May and start entering them right away. Your application can be sent to the school without your letters of recommendation.

I took the e-MCAT practice test 9 today. PS:8, VR:11, BS:10. I'm optimistic that I'll do much better on my September 1 test. But study time has been strained with all the application writing I've had to do. Most schools don't bother to screen their applicants for secondaries. That means you've got your personal statement to craft as well as your 15 extracurriculars (and you need to make those "3 most significant" essays count) plus two additional essays or so for each school you apply to. I guess the up-side of all the writing is, once you get into medical school the chances you will ever write another piece of compelling prose in the next 4 years is pretty dang low.

This is getting old

I can't believe the insane amount of time the applications take. My personal statement went through two major revisions followed by six subsequent tweaking "events." I got to be honest, I am truly pleased with it.

As I sat down to fill out my 15 extracurriculars (ECs) on AMCAS, I was frankly over-whelmed. Two schools of thought are out there: 1) ad-coms already read so much so stick with bullets and make it quick, and 2) ad-coms already read so much so tell your story and make it compelling. I tried to blend the two approaches. You are allowed 700 characters to describe your experiences plus 1325 extra characters for the "most meaningful" activities. Some of my entries were short-and-sweet bulleted deals and others were definitely infused with my personality. (Take it or leave it, it is me.)

My AMCAS ECs took me forever to fill out! I really had hoped I'd be ready to submit a month ago, but I new I didn't have those well-crafted until now. In a way, I really think submitting Texas and the DOs schools first really helped me work out the kinks for AMCAS. No, I'm not saying those didn't count. I'm just saying that AMCAS is more competitive. Actually, Texas is pretty dang competitive for out-of-staters like myself. I did not write the optional essays for Texas (TMDSAS), but I now regret that decision. I can really see how every ounce of differentiation through giving your application your personal "voice" can be a benefit.

And now on to the secondaries...

Cost of Applying

Time for numerical disclosures...

On Friday, I submitted by TMDSAS application for the Texas medical programs I am applying to. One huge plus of getting in to a medical school in Texas is their incredible tuition. Their out-of-state cost is better than in-state for quite a few schools. With two of my kids graduating high school by the time I finish medical school, it sure would be nice for them to be able to chose from a lot of affordable places, too. Cost of submitting to 7 schools: $180. (Wish I could say "Cost of being a physician: Priceless" but it does come with a pretty hefty price tag.)

I caught a typo on my application after I submitted it--no going back and changing it! Sigh. I had a nightmare last night that I hit submit on my AMCAS right now. (Still some cleaning up do to. I will submit this week.)

The TMDSAS was tedious! They want you to account for every 3-month period from the time you graduate from high school. When you've been out of high school for 20 years like I have, that's a ton of detail to include. All in all, I'd say that taking that trip down memory lane helped me include more items in my AACOMAS application.

AACOMAS is for the system for the American Association of Colleges of Osteopathic Medicine. Unlike AMCAS and TMDSAS, there is no letter service. That's because the AACOMAS site is powered by Interfolio. Unfortunately, that means one more system to figure out and an additional cost of $6 per letter I send, or about $18 per school. OK, OK, maybe it seems petty to worry about the price of the application process, but, hey, I'm trying to figure out how to do med school while simultaneously launching my kids off to college. It adds up. Pretty quickly.

I submitted my AACOMAS application to 7 additional schools. Perhaps 7 was over-kill. I'm pretty comfortable that I will get a comfortable number of interviews from these schools. Cost: $367.  Secondaries ranged from $50-$100 each.

I have heard plenty of people tell me not to worry about costs when applying to school. These people are usually 10 years younger than me--still "non-traditional," but no idea of the reality of sending children to college. I ruled out all of the DO programs that had tuition at $50,000 or more. Michigan State has a fantastic philosophy, but they also have a $78,000 annual tuition for out-of-staters. Even if I could get residency after the first year (and I'm not sure I could), the dollar-cost averaging still doesn't make sense.

AMCAS has a financial need program that lowers the cost of the MCAT and waives the application fee for the first 12 schools you apply to. The cut-off is 300% of the Federal poverty level. For a married couple with no kids, this program may not be much help, but with my family size, my husband and I could make over six-figures and I would still qualify. Sweet! Most schools waive the secondary fee for those who qualify.

That takes me to an absurd number of 26 schools I'm applying to. I think I laughed at my friend last fall who sent in that many applications. Now that I've spent some time in her shoes...well, you know.

We are squirrelling away money now to cover the cost of travel for interviews. Wish me luck!

Ouch.

I got my scores on June 19--just as indicated on the official MCAT site. I spent the first 24 hours feeling deeply depressed. The next 24 hours was spent mostly feeling mad at myself. As day 3 rolled around, I was able to step back and say, "Okay. Now what?"

My scores were intensely unbalanced. I got a 12 on verbal reasoning, which put me around the 96th percentile. I've heard people say verbal is the hardest score to bring up. I hope that is true because both of my science scores were 7! Yep. S-e-v-e-n. Both. Scaled? Why that would be 21-41st percentile for physical sciences and <gulp> 20-27th percentile for biological sciences.

Depressed: I just placed an awful lot of schools out of reach. This is so much worse than I anticipated with my practice tests.

Mad: I just placed an awful lot of schools out of reach. My plan to submit early was un-done by realizing I must retake. I knewthat I wasn't getting in the study time I needed, but didn't feel like I could carve it out of my schedule. This is a painful lesson to learn. Not creating the study time may end up costing me an extra year.

Now what? Going to a DO school was always an option for me, but it feels different when I think of it as the only option for me. There are still a couple of MD programs that may work, if they will review my file again after my MCAT retakes. This just bumps the AACOMAS up on my priority list. I had previously ruled out Texas since they only take a max of 10% of studnets from out of state, but two of the schools there are looking more appealing. Filling out the online applications is far more time consuming than I anticipated. AMCAS, AACOMAS, TMDSAS. All are different. All are long.

MCAT is over

I sat for the MCAT yesterday.

About a month ago, I found myself reflecting on the the things in life that truly matter to me. Health was high up there. I've been worrying about making it through residency and still having my health at the end of it. No, I don't think residency causes cancer, but as I've gotten older I have felt the effects of prolonged sleep deprivation more profoundly. Having taught childbirth education classes for many years, I understand the principals of induced relaxation and I am quite good at entering a light meditative state very rapidly. Even with these stress-coping techniques at my disposal, I don't believe I've fared well as I've headed into the home stretch of pre-med studies. Despite working out regularly, I've managed to put on ten pounds since January.

At first glimpse it sounds vain to say I'd rather not be a physician than be a 200-pound physician. (I'm 5'8".) But weighing 200-pounds is more risky than most people think. Abdominal obesity (where I store my fat) is linked to increase cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. Both of my parents passed away fairly young (they were in their 60s) and I believe that their lifestyle was the main factor. Neither of them smoked or drank excessively, but my father was overweight and my mother owned a high-stress business.

This year was my time to strike a balance. I've tried to be conscientious about the different plates I have spinning: a household of kids, a full-time job, a marriage, part-time classes, rental properties, MCAT studying--oh, yeah, and taking care of my own health. While I've done pretty good, I feel very out of kilter in taking care of my own health and nurturing my marriage. So about a month ago I decided to give myself permission to stop caring about the MCAT.

I took Thursday and Friday off of work. I thought I would do some studying, but alas, that wasn't what happened. Instead I worked out, ran some errands, and got a 90-minute massage. I firmly said to myself, "Whatever," and went to bed at a decent time. I truly do not recommend this strategy if your heart and soul ride onto whether or not you get into medical school, but when you are a little older than I am and you start to honestly assess what your adult life already has brought to you, the "whatever" approach just might be an approach you can live with.

I'll post my scores next month.

The Security Myth

One of my coworkers just found out that the "guaranteed" funding for her job just got pulled. Most of the people at my office are paid through federal grant funds. I've heard it said many times, "They don't pay us enough, but at least we have job security." It's amazing to me how unhappy people are willing to be in order to feel secure. Fear traps us.

I'm not immune. I recognize the illogical appeal of this false sense of "security," yet I still crave it. If I put off applying to medical school for one more year, then I will be vested in the retirement program. Delaying my dream will give me a mere $308 per month in retirement. Logically, I know I will be much better off as a retired physician, but I'm human and that $308 is "guaranteed" if I just stick around another year. That's crazy! Why do I even think about it at all?

The desire for security is part of human nature; we seek security even if it requires us to trust in a broken system. But our work culture is changing. Job mobility today is akin to our ancestors' ability to follow the heard. You've got to be able to adapt, reinventing yourself and actively navigating your own career. Becoming a physician in my 40s is definitely a reinvention.

In many ways, physicians today are in the same boat as any hourly wage earner. There is always the possiblity of having your job replaced by lower-level (and less expensive) employees or becoming redundant in the face of a merger. Having said that, physicians are uniquely trained for change. Rotations and residency are all about overloading and adjusting, while learning as much as you can. I see limitless possibilities for me as a physician: practicing in small clinic, working as within a hospital system, developing quality improvement intiatives, teaching public health, administering evidence-based practices. Job wise, nothing is secure; but as a career, medicine offers an incredible breadth of opportunity. After all, in today's world, security is what you make it.

Second Practice Test Done!

Last night, I was in a very shallow sleep when my husband got into bed. He woke me up enough that I rolled over and said, "This is stupid! I'm 37!" Clearly, I was dreaming about the MCAT.

I told myself that there was no more putting off my next full-length exam. Here are the results...
Composite: 30
Physical Sciences: 9
Verbal Reasoning: 11
Biological Sciences: 10

Oh, happy day! Not feeling too old, after all.

Review of MCAT Prep Materials

Once upon a time, I sat in my physics class next to a guy with an MP3 recorder. "I'm planning on going over these later for the MCAT." Yeah, right! That has got to be one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. You've got a boring lecturer covering topics in more depth and breadth than you'll ever find on the MCAT. No thanks!

Here's a brief overview of the resources I'm using as I study for the MCAT:

Examkrackers has some terrific material, but they aren't without problems. As I've mapped out the next few weeks, I've basically followed their 10-week MCAT study schedule with a few changes. I really like the basic subject books: Physics, Chemistry, Biology, and Organic Chemistry. The material is broken-down pretty well with fairly clear explanations of the quiz answers. Visually, Examkrackers is very skilled at setting apart key items for memorization while offering good mnemonics. There are times when I feel like there just isn't enough information given in the book. That's not because I want more detail, per se, but I just don't feel like the review is adequate. When I want a little more, my favorite place to go is Khan Academy.  Khan Academy has too much information to review all of the science subjects there, but it is very helpful for pulling up one small section at a time. Wikipedia also has some "chunked" information with just the right level of detail. I found the SN1 explanation (for example) very helpful.

My local library had Audio Osmosis, which I checked out for a month. I listened to it in the car on some long trips. Honestly, it didn't really do much for me. I've also tried listening to the program while taking notes. That wasn't so great, either. The non-stop corny jokes were a distraction, but I could see how they might appeal to someone else. The recordings follow the chapters of the subject books, but not exactly, so it wasn't always apparent which section they were in. After going through the audio program a couple of times, I really didn't feel much more comfortable with the content. I took my first practice MCAT (CBT 3) and scored P:8, V:10, B:8. This was lower than I had hoped for.

Though I wasn't a big fan of Examkrackers' verbal strategy book, I decided to buy 101 Verbal Passages. I'm not thrilled. My test scores have varied from 8-12 which seems like a pretty big spread (50th percentile to 85th). The explanations for some of the questions are fairly asinine, and I pray that the real MCAT is not like that. A couple of times I've grabbed my husband and asked him to evaluate the question--I'm afraid that they really are clearly worded and I'm just missing something, but usually that's not the case. There are quite a few typos in the book, too. Still, I think that some practice is better than none, so I have continued to use them. There are 14 verbal tests in the book and so far I've completed 6.

I also own 16 Mini-MCATs and have taken 3 of them so far. I've heard repeatedly that the best way to prepare is to take as many practice tests as possible. Each of the sections (P, V, and B) are designed to take just 20 minutes. Because they are so short, the sections roughly correspond to designated chapters in the subject books. (There is a table in the front to tell you when to take each test.) The explanations given for answers aren't as clear as the explanations in the subject books.

A friend of mine has the Gold Standard videos that she has let me borrow. So far, I've really enjoyed the videos I've watched. The explanations have more depth than Examkrackers books, but the content seems to be a little too narrow. I mean, can you really fit everything I need to know about Chemistry into just four hours of lecture? Dr. Ferdinand is unintentionally funny to watch, which adds to the entertainment value. He strikes you as the kid who always knows the answers and just wants everyone else to know it. His pronunciation of some words (e.g., skeletal and carbonyl) is a little different from what I'm familiar with, so every now and then I have to take a second to figure out what he is saying. The graphics are just whatever he draws on the whiteboard behind him. Simple and effective.

A year ago, when I was taking physics, I purchased a deck of flashcards from Wikipremed.com. Due to unknown difficulties, the flashcards did not show up until many, many months (and many, many emails) later. The content on them is pretty good, but I honestly haven't used them much. They seem more like problem/answer cards than concept-teaching cards. I don't know if I will use them, as I already have quite a few resources to go through and not much time to do it.

Another full-length CBT (test number 8) is on my calendar for this weekend.

Lesson learned: Apply early!

Remember my friend who applied to (grand total) 32 schools? Many of those applications were not finalized until late October. So far, she's heard back from half of the schools--no dice. I know, I know: all you need is one "yes," but really, who wants to put herself through that much pain? Waiting to hear back from so many places with one "no, thank you" after another. Unless you stand out and shine (and you better sparkle like one of those Twilight vampires), don't risk it! My goal is to be complete with secondaries before summer is over.

Less than 10 Weeks til MCAT

How ominous is it to take the MCAT on Friday the 13th? As I prep for the April MCAT, I find myself looking for excuses to push my test date back until May. My biggest concern is whether or not I'll have enough time to prepare, but if superstition gives me an "out," then I just might take it.

In all seriousness, I'm worried about having the fortitude to bring my scores up. I took CBT 3 (the free, official practice MCAT) and bombed it. I scored an 8 on Physical Sciences and felt surprisingly OK about it. After all, I know I stink at physics and I'm not so fond of chemistry. But scoring another 8 on the Biological Sciences was a real blow. I did not expect that. I fared better on Verbal, scoring a 10. Still, this was lower than what I had on previous Exam Krackers verbal practice. (And, by the way, why does it seem that people are so reticent to share their scores? Too afraid to be human and admit when you score less than 30?)

With a starting point of 26, I guess I've only got room for improvement.

Calm Before the Storm

I'm finally in my much anticipated "light" semester. As I plowed through full-time classes last year (spring, summer, and fall), I had my eye on this semester in which I'd lighten my course load and get ready for the MCAT. Yeah.

Here's my problem: I've lightened my load. Ok, ok, taking fewer classes really isn't a problem. I actually like that. I get to eat dinner with my kids more often instead of running off to classes directly after work. Last weekend I even took my crew on an impromtu vacation into the mountains. That was terrific!

It's the second half of my plan that has become a problem--the "get ready for the MCAT" portion of the plan seems to be faltering a little. I want to get ready for the MCAT. I know I need to get ready for the MCAT. I just really like being a bit chill right now. It's been a pretty intense 12 months, and I know that right now I am just experiencing the calm before the storm. I must say, I'm not sure I'm ready for the rough weather.

After the intense studying comes actually taking the MCAT. Right now, I'm looking at April or May. Come May 1, the AMCAS application is open, and the rush begins. I'll have a month to get my personal transcripts entered (and as an oldie-but-goodie, I've got quite a few transcripts to deal with) as well as all of the other gems included in the application. My goal is to submit as early as possible. Since many secondaries are already floating around, I'll be working on those all summer (even before I hear back from schools). Sounds like a whirl-wind to me. I suppose that I'll have all of my applications neatly wrapped up by September, but then the hard part comes...the wait!

Yep. I'm enjoying my break.