Forty snuck up on me this summer. Well, "snuck up" meaning that it came banging on pots and pans and whooping and hollering. Yes, the month before my 40th birthday I cried. "I'm turning 40," I lamented to my daughters, "...and I'm getting divorced," sob, gasping for breath, "...and I know I wanted it, but it's hard and I'm old and feeling alone," deep inhalation with tears, "...and I'm so glad I'm in med school," quiver and shake, "...but it is just so tiring," gasp, "...and now my head hu-ur-urts!" This was met with awkward stares from my 18 and 16 year old girls. Did I mention I was driving at the time? We had taken a little girls' weekend. It was fun. It was girlie. But my last huzzah at being 39 was slipping away.
Now that I'm on the other side of 40, I can breathe a little easier. It happened. And I didn't die. And my ex-husband and I get along amicably. And school, well...school is restarting today, so who knows? My plan is not to let it get quite so tiring this year.
I read your entire blog last night. We have a lot in common--but you are ahead of me--I haven't applied to med school yet. I take the MCAT in January. Just turned 40. It's good to read about someone else going through the same thing. When I did my post-bacc, it was bizarre attending classes with 20 year olds. But it was also good in a strange way.
ReplyDeleteIn any case, your personal statement and my personal statement were bizarrely similar. Same reasons for moving away from medicine (I also lost my dad when I was a teen to cancer). Funny how some experiences can be shared. Good luck and hang in there. I turned 40 yesterday and you couldn't pay me to be 30 again. They were good years but my mind is where it needs to be now. Growth is a good thing--sometimes painful but necessary.
Wondering how the MCAT went for you. It's the first hurdle in what quickly becomes an exhilarating race.
DeleteHow do you balance motherhood and school? I am a father of two young awesome kids, currently completing preMed requirements. My biggest concern is time away from them. What are your thoughts on this?
ReplyDeleteEveryone goes about parenting differently. What I want my relationships to look like with my kids may not necessarily be what you want. Four times out of five, I pick listening to the story one of my kids has for me over spending that 10 minutes studying. You will undoubtedly have time away, but how much away-time is up to you. If you want to match into a competitive specialty that requires higher test scores and research, then you will definitely not be able to spend as much time with your kids as I've spent with mine. There's nothing wrong with wanting that for yourself, but you need to be honest about that early on.
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