Self-doubt costs $170

Two weeks ago, I was feeling great about having five interviews scheduled (three MD and two DO).

But...that was two weeks ago.

Each week of silence during interview season is painful. No, not feverishly-sick-in-bed painful. More like did-I-really-do-everything-I-could self-doubt painful. You know, the feeling that despite evaluating MSAR data for over 80 different schools, I didn't consider every school that I should have. Conventional med-school applicant wisdom says that you need to apply to at least 10 "go-for-it" schools in addition to a couple of "reach" and a sprinkling of "safety" schools. The problem is, where do out-of-state schools fit in? Most of them hold residents to a different standard than out-of-staters, but exactly what that standard is, is not always clear. If the average MCAT for a school is 31 and 80% of students are in-state, what's a reasonable score to consider that school a "safety"?

I truly believe that there are schools that might still invite me to interview in January or February. The problem is, there are a lot of schools that haven't said anything. At times I think "no news is good news" and at other times I think that no news simply means that the window of opportunity is closing. (Did I mention that I got my first rejection? Mayo said "no" to me on Halloween. It's a little relieving not wondering where I stand.)

Faced with the discomfort of waiting, I decided to do what I could do. I finished another secondary to a school that I wasn't all that interested in. I will finish another secondary this weekend. I signed on to AMCAS today and selected five more schools with a primary deadline in December, paid $170, and hit "submit." I suppose that many people in my position would spout off that it is too late and why bother, but then again, bothering means that I'm doing something while I'm waiting. Somehow I feel like I'm keeping myself in play.